Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Unanswered Prayers

I'm not typically the type of person that sits back and asks what if. But do you ever? Sit back and wonder where you would be today IF the thing you wanted most at one point in your life had actually happened the way you wished? How much would your life have changed? How different could things be today? If you had only made a decision a little differently or chose a different path. If God had only granted you the one thing you prayed about...
Occasionally, while reminiscing and remembering in the old thoughts and memories that have been covered in cob webs for many years, I will wonder where I would be today if things had been different. Would I still be living back "home"? Still have two children? A loving husband to hold me? What would have happened had I not met the friends I have along the way? How would that have affected me? Would I feel the same about the way I feel about things?
And then my children run to me, wanting to be held, hugged, cuddled; laughing and loving with me. Or my husband will say something that takes me back to the day we met. Or fell in love. Or a funny moment we shared together. And immediately I'm snapped out of the tiny moment years ago that my mind was tinkering with. And I'm back to reality. This wonderful, amazing reality of a life that God has given me. I'm so blessed! Beyond what I ever asked for or deserve. And I'm thankful, so thankful that God didn't give me the things I wanted so badly to have back then, didn't put me where I thought I wanted to be. Thought I needed to be. He knows best. It is all part of his master plan. We don't have to understand it, but eventually, if we don't accept it, life will have swept by, leaving us in a swirling torrent of wants and wishes. It took me time to truly know that everything happens for a reason. God will not open a door or a window without giving you another to walk through. And while it may not have been the door you would have picked had you the choice, eventually it will lead you to the place you wanted to be but better! If I knew then what I know now, the walk to where I am now wouldn't have been as interesting. I appreciate every little thing in my life and have zero regrets. Because a different path most certainly would have made me a different person that I am today. Whether for good or bad. I'm not afraid of falling down now because somewhere along the way God taught me how to get back up. (Or should I say I finally heard Him!) And I'm happier than I've ever been. I.AM.BLESSED.

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.     Jeremiah 29:11

1 comment:

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