My walk-II

This is a very touchy subject, I realize. I am not trying to be controversial, just sharing a bit about my side & opinions.
I wrote a similar post to this one months back. You can read about it by clicking {here}.
I have not attended church for just over a year now. I'm not posting this to be boastful, not by any means. I'm not proud of the fact nor however, am I ashamed. Does this mean I am no longer considered a Christian? I pray, praise, worship and talk to & listen to God daily. I haven't read the bible cover to cover. I admit that I rarely read the bible-something I'd like to change. My feelings, beliefs, thoughts on God and The Church (not church, but The Church) haven't changed. My thoughts on church however, have. Or should I rephrase and say my thoughts on the people that attend church have changed. As a non Christian, I had never thought of Christians as "bible thumpers" or people who considered themselves to be of a higher standard than others or thought themselves to be better people. Better humans. Better Christians. It was after I started attending church as an adult that I began to see all of the things that have made me withdraw.

Hearing a pastor's wife say things like, "I am not supposed to say anything so don't tell anyone this but....." Really? People go to a pastor and his family and church board for guidance, for help, structure and under the impression that it is in total and complete confidence.

I've seen the difference in people at church and outside of it. We all see that though, I'm sure. I act completely different at home than I do at church.

I recently heard someone refer to someone else as a weak Christian. I'm sorry, I didn't know there was a way you could find a distinction. Is there a rule book somewhere? How many hours does this person pray weekly? CHECK! Does this person attend church every Sunday & Wednesday? CHECK! Do they carry a bible with them? CHECK! How many people have they led to Jesus? CHECK! Does this person volunteer and give back to the community? CHECK! You'll have to pardon my sarcasm here as this is to me, what most would under these standards consider a "weak" Christian, hard for me to hear! We all have a story. We all have a voice, something that has given us inspiration or moved us to join a church or say a prayer or read the bible. EVERYONE has a story, a struggle, a tragedy but some of us don't share that story openly. Or in front of an entire congregation.

I didn't grow up in a household that regularly attended church. Church for us was a reward. Something we looked forward to but couldn't count on seeing. My father was an alcoholic, things are different under those circumstances. (I'm proud to say however, my father attends church now and no longer drinks!)

Anyway, my point here is that just because someone doesn't outwardly display what most would consider strong Christian values, it doesn't mean they aren't Christian. It doesn't mean that person doesn't have the strong values. Doesn't even mean that they don't show them. It just means that some choose not to see them. And those that choose not to see them, I often find are the ones that point fingers, are judgmental, hypocritical. We are all learning, striving to be better. A strong Christian has to start somewhere. So aren't we,new Christians the beginning makings of a strong Christian? As long as we are still fighting to be children of God and practice righteousness I don't think it is fair to be categorized. We WANT to produce much good fruit for Jesus. I also am not categorizing Christians with good, strong roots in any negative manor! I'm not trying to imply that all are the same.

We know from scripture that God is judge of all. {1 Samuel 2:10, Psalms 50:6, Isaiah 3:13} God is our judge because he is all-knowing, he is Truth. His judgments are righteous. But even though God alone is the judge, it doesn't mean that he is the only one who casts judgment. God is pleased by those who seek to judge....righteously! And I guess that's my key complaint. Some Christians take it upon themselves to judge, which is not what I have issues with. Some decide to forget the fact that God has set restrictions on judging.

When we judge others for committing sins that we partake in, we are condemning ourselves. { Matthew 7:1-5, Luke 6:37-42, Romans 2:1-5}
We are also told not to judge according to appearances or by the flesh. {John 7:24, James 2:1-4}
Do not judge based on lies or misrepresentations. {James 4:11-12}

I'm sure some of you are saying, yes, this is found to be true. But you are going to have some of this everywhere. It's impossible to weed out those that you do find. EXACTLY!
Rather than see and hear these things by the people who are to be the example to new Christians, weak Christians, I, for the time being, prefer to worship my God in my own way, without sitting in a sanctuary feeling negatively and missing the point of the sermon completely. I know that in time I will be able to get over this feeling. I know that in God's time, he will have given me the knowledge and the wisdom to accept these things that have made me withdraw and that some day I will again be comfortable in church.

I think for the time being my plan for us is to "home" church. Watching services online and bible school the children ourselves. This also eliminates any controversy my daughter may be having with other young ones in the youth church services.


Romans 2:11-For God shows no partiality.